Joke of The Week for Week Ending February 26, 2010

This week had a dead heat between two jokes. So, both of them are featured here....

A Touching story....

Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. 

'Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish,' she asks, 'Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says: 'No, I don't think God would get mad. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?' 

'Osama Bin Laden,' she says.

'Why Osama Bin Laden?' her father asks in shock.

'Well,' she says, 'I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. 

And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them, and how he didn't hate anyone anymore.' 

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. 'Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I have ever heard.'

'I know, ' Melissa says, 'and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the prick !!!


Aussie Valentine

Of course I love ya darlin

You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous

I mean every single word
So ya bum is on the big side

I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready

There's somethin there to grab

So your belly isn't flat no more

I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya

I can get my arms round there
No sheila who is your age

Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity

But I know ya did ya best

I'm tellin' ya the truth now

I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy that

You've got dimples on ya thighs
I swear on me nanna's grave

Now the moment that we met
I thought you was as good as

I was ever gonna get

No matter what u look like

I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footy's on

And fetch another beer  


Return to the Joke Archive:

Revised: February 27, 2010

Copyright 2000-2010 Stephisa Technologies, Inc. All rights reserved.