Joke of The Week for Week Ending June 29, 2007


School 1977 vs 2007.......

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school  parking lot with shotgun in gun rack .

1977 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his  car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail  and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

 

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1977 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge  them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

 

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1977 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the  Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class  again.

2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested   for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has  a  disability.

 

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives  him a whipping with his belt.

1977 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to  college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster  care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom  has affair with psychologist.

 

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school .

1977 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car  searched for drugs and weapons.

 

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1977 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear  nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state  school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core  curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a  living because he cannot speak English.

 

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July,  puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1977 - Ants die.

2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic  terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home,  computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is  never allowed to fly again.

 

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.  He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1977 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She  faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.


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Revised: January 01, 2010

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