Joke of The Week for Week Ending October 19, 2001


 Words That Don't Exist, But Really Should...

 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to

 turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.

 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when 

vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a

 dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then

 putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you

 dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow

 'remove' all the germs.

 4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people manoeuvring

 for one armrest in a movie theater or airplane.

 5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept

 onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across the room until he

 finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

 6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man guy lay' shun) n Manhandling the

 "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to

 resort to the 'illegal' side.

 7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose

 sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want

 ground pepper.

 8 PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone

 number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

 9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a

 dog presses its nose to it.

 10.TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always

 letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even

 when you're only six inches away.

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Revised: January 01, 2010