Joke of The Week for Week Ending October 12, 2001

 

For those who thought the hardest part of Physics 101 was the

constant conversion from feet and inches to the metric system, including

all its Newton's, Joules, and Watts, here are some other useful conversions:

 

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter:

Eskimo Pi

 

2000 pounds of Chinese soup:

Won ton

 

1 millionth of a mouthwash:

1 microscope

 

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:

1 bananosecond

 

Weight an evangelist carries with God:

1 billigram

 

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour:

Knot-furlong

 

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling:

1 lite year

 

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone:

1 Rod Sterling

 

Half of a large intestine:

1 semicolon

 

1000 aches:

1 megahurtz

 

Basic unit of laryngitis:

1 hoarsepower

 

Shortest distance between two jokes:

A straight line

 

454 graham crackers:

1 pound cake

 

1 million-million microphones:

1 megaphone

 

1 million bicycles:

2 megacycles

 

2000 mockingbirds:

two kilomockingbirds

 

10 cards:

1 decacards

 

1 kilogram of falling figs:

1 Fig Newton

 

1000 grams of wet socks:

1 literhosen

 

1 millionth of a fish:

1 microfiche

 

1 trillion pins:

1 terrapin

 

10 rations:

1 decoration

 

100 rations:

1 C-ration

 

2 monograms:

1 diagram

 

8 nickels:

2 paradigms

 

2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital:

1 I.V. League

 

100 Senators:

Not 1 decision.


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